The Calling of God

Hello everyone, how are you all doing? Good I hope. I am doing good. It’s 11:48 p.m. and the date is 09/01/10. Can you guys believe it? It’s the first day of September and we are still getting hot weather. Being in that hot weather made me realize that I wouldn’t last any seconds in hell. I live in a house with no air conditioner but it’s all good because God is good no matter what we go through. I’m still thanking God for the future.

Today, Earl and I went to the library. I had to take back some movies that I rented from them. The movies are called It’s Complicated, Coming to America, and The Secrets of Jonathan Sperry. I highly suggest that every Christian go and buy the Secrets of Jonathan Sperry on DVD. Thanks Jonathan Parnell for suggesting that movie to me. It’s an awesome movie that gives you a strategy on how to share your faith with children in particular. You bribe them with chocolate cake, lol. Naw, I’m just kidding! We stayed at the library until they put us out literally. I like going to the library because the atmosphere is comfortable and its nice and cool there. I don’t have to worry about sweating because they have central air. At the library we used the computer and talked to a friend of ours by the name of Michael. We had a wonderful conversation about the Lord and life.

After the library was closed, we started walking. A few weeks ago I was having trouble with my back hurting when I was walking but I thank God that I didn’t have trouble at that time. God had answered my prayer. I know that I was too young to be hurting like this in my back. I had to continue to pray and ask the Lord to help me daily. Thank you Jesus! Hallelujah!

Michael lived the same way we were walking so he walked with us. He revealed to us that God has called him to be a prophet and that he has found a church home. He preaches and teaches the Word of God at his church. I could see that he is at peace with his calling and knowing what God has designed him to do. As time went by, the Spirit of the Lord began to speak to him concerning me. He said that I am called to be an Evangelist and to preach the Word. He also said that I would lay hands on the sick and they would get delivered. I was like wow, that is crazy. So my first reaction was laughter. My friend Earl looked at him and could bare witness with Michael’s spirit. It’s like he knew that Michael had heard from the Lord. Guys I am trying to explain this the best way that I can. Earl began to speak about fire as well. It made me think of the scripture that says that God is a consuming fire. It also brought back memories of being at my friend Sherry’s apartment. One time I was at her apartment, and it was extremely hot to me. I remember that Andrea, Sherry, her daughter and myself was there. Sherry’s place had central air but yet I was still extremely hot. I began to take off my pants. My friend was like don’t be stripping in here. I wasn’t trying to but I was hot. I thought for a minute that I was having hot flashes. The next day, Sherry told me that she saw a fire next to me in the Spirit. Immediately I thought about the Holy Ghost fire and I also thought about the scripture that says that God is a consuming fire. I’m guessing that God’s presence was all over that room.

I guess you guys may be wondering why did I laugh. To be honest, I can’t even explain it. I guess the reason I laughed was because it was something that God had spoken to me through other people in the past. At that moment, God began to bring back those things that happened leading up to me knowing my calling.

A few years ago when I was in Flint, I went to Abundant Life Ministries International Church. The Pastor there told the congregation openly that they should be like me because I invited a lot of people to church and I don’t even have a car. It’s true every Sunday I used to invite people to church. He looked at me and said “I knew you had some evangelism in you.” My mother used to always call me Evangelist Shawne. I used to laugh at her because I thought she was crazy for telling me that. But what I didn’t know is that there was truth in what she said. Then I had a friend tell me that I have a Spirit of an Evangelist when I was in Flint.

One day I was in prayer and seeking the Lord and I heard His voice clear as day “Evangelist Shawne.” It couldn’t have been anyone but the Lord because all my roommates were gone. I was there that day reading my Bible and praying to the Lord.
Years later, after I left the Baker College in Flint, I began to have dreams. I had two dreams. In both dreams I was in a white suit. In one dream I was singing and in the other dream I was preaching the Word of God and giving my testimony. Thousands of people was in that place and was delivered.

I also had another dream. In this dream, I was on a boat and the boat was sinking. Somehow God delivered me from that situation. I think that he gave me small boat to get off the big boat. The next thing I know in the dream, I was in a car with my friend Jessica. She drove me to this hospital and left me there. I’m thinking that it was a mental hospital but I’m not totally sure. There was this demonic cult in the back room putting spells on people by the laying of the hands and preaching false doctrine. The lady at the front desk warned me telling me not to go back there or they will put a spell on me. I didn’t listen to her but I walked to the back where they were having an cult service similar to church. The next thing I know, this guy tried to lay hands on me. He laid hands on me and nothing happened to me. All of a Sudden the Spirit of God moved and I began to preach the gospel. Preaching that Jesus is Lord, and He used me to lay hands on people rebuking the evil spirits in Jesus name. The demons were cast out of the people and they received Christ as Lord. People were on the floor weeping and repenting for their sins. That was truly an amazing dream.

While Earl, Michael, and myself were walking I began to share some things with them. I didn’t share all of my experiences that I am writing in this blog. I did tell them that it is my heart’s desire to do ministry at my home. When I get my own house, I desire for all kinds of people to come over to pray with me and to hear the Word of the Lord. I’d very much like to minister to other people. For a while I was so confused about the calling that God had for me. I even doubted it after an experience at this church I used to attend. I was told before by an Pastor that I shouldn’t do YouTube Videos of me preaching because it is inappropriate because I am not ordained by him to preach. He said what I was preaching was the right doctrine but it was out of order. He also told me not to preach in the name of the church. So for a while, I stopped preaching period. I felt hurt in my heart because after all that happened, I was denied the one thing I liked to do and that was to minister to other people. For a long time I thought that I was not called by God. So I stopped doing videos, I stopped writing sermons, and I stopped ministering to other people because of what I was told. I didn’t want to be doing something that God had not called me to do.

One day, I got an phone call from an man of God by the name of Prophet Brian. He told me that I am called to be an Evangelist. I also had another man of God tell me that I am called to preach the Word of God.

It’s like I keep getting the same prophetic word over and over again. I honestly feel that I am not worthy to preach to nobody. I have my own issues and struggles that I really need to deal with. I have a lot of hurt in my heart that I need God’s help with. I need for God to help me to release the things that has been piercing my heart. I struggle on the day to day basis to live a life to please God. I don’t want to have to struggle to please God. I want pleasing God to come naturally for me. I desire for God to give me infinite wisdom so that I can make all the right choices for my life by His Spirit.

Truth be told most normal people do not have dreams like that. I never thought in a million years that God would call me to do this. Now that I have been given this information over and over again by different people what do I do with it now? Sometimes I don’t feel worthy to be called by God. Sometimes I feel as if I can’t do this. Sometimes I don’t want to be called by God to do this because I’m afraid of failing God. Every time I have failed God I used to cry, sometimes for days. Now I know that God has forgiven me. Sometimes I have a difficult time forgiving myself for the things that I do.

Guys, I have to keep it real. I haven’t been to church in a while for different reasons. Sometimes my mom had to work and was tired so we didn’t go. Other times I was just too lazy to get out of bed. While there are other times when I was invited to a friend’s church. I know that I should go to church. I don’t really want to anymore and I can’t explain why. It doesn’t have anything to do with any particular person. I just don’t desire to go anymore. I’m kind of worried that maybe no one at my church will recognize the call that God has on my life. For so long, ever since I was little, I felt like I was invisible to everyone in the church. Even now, when I was going, I felt invisible. I am not sure if it’s God trying to tell me that I am in the wrong place or if it’s the devil trying to keep me out of church. I’m not totally sure about that. I wanted to tell my Pastor of my calling but I’m fearful of that. I don’t want to have another disappointment. I don’t want to be denied from doing the thing that God desires for me to do. Plus my pastor will probably assume I’ll be unfaithful in my calling because I haven’t been attending church on the regular. What should a woman of God do in a situation like this? For right now, I am going to spend more time with the Lord in praise and worship, prayer, fasting and studying the Word of God.

Sometimes I am fearful of the call that God has on my life. Lately I have been feeling like I have been getting persecuted daily. There have been times I have tried to reach out to someone but no one was there to be found. Intercessors, please I ask that you pray for me. Ask God to show me what it is that He desires for me to do now. Ask God where I need to go now. More importantly, I desire to live a Holy life that pleases God. The truth is, I have fallen short of God’s glory and sinned against Him. At the same time, when I try to do good evil is present. I don’t want to fall in the devil’s traps. I know that Jesus Christ is sitting on the right hand of God praying for me. I desire for you all to pray that God removes everything out of me that’s not like Him.

If you have a calling on your life, I have some questions for you to answer. What is God calling you to do? How did you know what God is calling you to do? What did you do after God told you what you were called to do? What type of fruit have you created in your calling? What did you do to prepare yourself for the calling? When did you first know you were called by God? Did you get some confirmation about your calling? Did your pastor recognize the calling upon your life? What did you do before you walked into your calling? What sacrifices did you have to make for your calling? How did you find out you were called? What is your ministry? Who is your ministry for? How did your ministry get started? Have your ministry expanded? What are the trials you had to go through in your ministry? Is your ministry your full time job? What is your niche in ministry? How does your ministry help the community?

Every person has a calling on their lives but not every person is called to preach. God has called many but few people are chosen. It is my understanding that the reason why a few people are chosen is because a few people answer to the calling that God has on their lives.
Matthew 22:14 says For many are called, but few are chosen.
Ephesians 4:11-12 And He gave some, apostles; and some prophets; and some evangelists; and some pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ.